But nobody said anything about there not being a free breakfast!!!

So, I have been in pinches before, many times in fact. I’ve worked minimum waged jobs in the outdoor industry for years, just making enough to get by and getting good enough deals on gear to spend the rest of my money. This has left me in situations where I wasn’t sure where I was going to get my next meal. This is a horrible position that I ufortunatnly had to experience again and again. Its kind of dehumanizing and one of the ugliest parts about being a dirtbag climber with pro deals.

So, I resorted to eating contenental breakfasts at the local hotels. This is risky business, because it is ILLEGAL. It is infact stealing. So on that I note, I dont recomend anyone do this.  But if you find yourself in a bind and need to go against my advice, then keep these few pointers in mind.

First of all, figure out where the local hotels keep their breakfast. It is best if you dont have to walk by the front desk. The best one I used to go to required me to walk through the front doors, but it was a quick left turn into the feeding room, so it was easier for me to sneak by.  Some days, luck would be in my favor and someone would be exiting the side door as I was locking up my bike.  Success!

Second of all, dress to impress. Dont let them know you are living out of your car. Comb your hair, put on some clean clothes, and even some heels and make up woulnt hurt.  Dress like you belong there, but dont cause any unnecessary attention your way.

Third, when you find a good hotel to hit up, do it several days in a row verses sporadically throughout the week.  If you were really staying there, you’d go to breakfast each morning, right? Most people stay anywhere from 1 to 3 days at a hotel.  But, the more you are seen, the more chances of someone talking to you, which you need to avoid.

Fourth, find a hotel with the good breakfast.  Some just put out coffee and donuts…. not worth the risk.  My favorite is the ones with the waffle makers.  Yummmmmmy!

Thats all my advice (which is not to do this) for the young. starving, dirtbag population.  May the odds be in your favor.

Be like Katniss: smart, witty and rebellious.