I’d like to take a moment and dedicate some space on the internet to the joys and stresses of  Van Life!  This is a dirtbagger’s dream, traveling the country with nothing but everything they can fit in a van. Joining the migration of people as they make their way from Indian Creek, to The Valley, up north to Squamish and then back again the following fall.  There are many variations to this theme, some head to Wyoming during the hot summer months to partake in excellent sport climbing, and heck, I have no clue where the boulderers go when its wicked hot outside.

So, a very important factor living the life and joining the migration of people on their climbing crusade is the wheels you live on.  It has been debated many times over a truck versus a van, and I sympathize for both sides.  A truck has higher clearance and 4WD so it’d be able to get to Cottonwood Campsites at the Creek, where the van either has to endure injury or stick to Creek Pasture.  But, a truck doesn’t have the living space that a van has.  Its not as comfortable to hangout in the cab of a truck, nor can you cook in there.  Wind and rain happens and its good to have a place to take cover for an extended amount of time. Sure, any truck owner with and extra tall cab will argue that he/she could hang out in the back of the truck if they wanted, but I’ve never seen anyone do that before.

As a female in the climbing world, I end up dating guys that have vans.  I used to joke (ok, I still do) that I wont date a guy unless he has a van.  Ok, its not a joke, it for real.  As shallow as that may seem, but hey, some girls are gold diggers and well, I am a van-digger.  I really dont want to buy my own though.  The draw backs of van life doesn’t suit my life too well.  But, my vehicles work very well for closets, while I lived in my boyfriend’s vans.  Perfect!  My mess stays contained in my car, and well, the guy is psyched because now he gets to share his punie little bed with me, the sexy, smelly bed thrasher.

I have to say, one of my most cherished van-life moments was with a van, named the Wang Dang-o.  This was my first boyfriend’s van I lived out of. It was a Toyota Previa.  What a cool vehicle.  Its like a space bubble.  Its really spacious for a mini van, and its a toyota, its fixable when it breaks down.  My favorite time the van “broke down” was when my boyfriend drove it to Bishop and it wouldn’t shut off once he arrived.  Turned the key and nothing happened…. Shitty, but eh, I think thats better than it not turning on at all, right?

This was a wonderful time of my life, but what I remember the most are the mice that used to get into the van!  Talk about annoying, trying to sleep and hearing the verminous creature scratching around for food.  The name-less boy once caught a mouse in the van using a kitchen pot, a stick, a string and a piece of cheese.  He set up the mouse trap, we laid very quietly for a little while, then BAM he pulled the string and caught the mouse!!!!

The Wang Dang-o and I had a very intimate affair.  The owner, who will remain nameless, had a job working with Rope Access.  This meant that I lost my boyfriend for up to three months at a time in a moment’s notice.  Not the best career choice for someone who wants a climber girlfriend.  So, one summer, he was called away, and we decided to switch vehicles. I got to live out of the van, and my CR-V was parked a casino in Reno for a couple of months….

While I was living in it, I stayed over at Mammoth Lakes.  For anyone who doesn’t know much about the Sierra, there are bears and they are hungry and ruthless.  I’d just returned from Reno and had over $50 worth of groceries in the van, including an expensive bottle of fish oil.  I parked my car at my friend’s condo and spent the night.  Woke up the next morning to go to work and noticed that the back side window was missing…. shit! Check it out: 

Now, my boyfriend was not too happy with me when he got the phone call.  I cleaned it all up though but the smell of fish was overwhelming.  The little fucker poked its claws into the side of the fish oil and it spilled, all over the back.  Putrid would be a good way to describe what the van was like.  Well, lucky for me it all pretty much contaminated a mat and I just went and got the van vacuumed out.  The Wang Dang-o was broken into by a bear three times that summer.  Once you’ve been marked by a bear, they remember….

At the end of the summer, I returned the van with the broken window and proceded to break up with Wang Dang-o’s owner for another guy with a better van.  Pretty low of me.  Thanks for the living quarters for the summer, the van sustained some growing pains, all repairable, now good luck and scram.  I am still paying for that relationship in karma.